Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
