WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
