Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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