marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
