She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
