Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
