i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize