You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I lost the right to judge tonight
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
