I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize