..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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