I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
