I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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