Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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