he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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