yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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