she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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