have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
