Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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