She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize