the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
