I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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