Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
