I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
