the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
