I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
