Sry I called you an 8
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
