his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
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I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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