new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Your cock deserves a montage
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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