Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
