remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
