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I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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