He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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