Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
