why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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