Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
