Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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