The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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