what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
