let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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