I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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