I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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