i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
