You're a womanizer and a bitch.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Small penises have feelings too.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
