hell yes lets make some ravioli
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
