Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
