I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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