I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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