I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Less talking, more tequila
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
