I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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