dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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