I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
