Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
