yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
high people should be assigned attendants
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
