Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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