Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize