Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
