why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
