obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
