dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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