I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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