so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
