Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He has the fingertips of a God
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