if i died would you start the facebook group?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
