you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
