OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
