If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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