So many bounce houses so little time
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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