dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
