NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
